A tweeny problem.
Sunday, 18 January 2009
A couple of days ago, I was faced with the single most crippling issue facing society today. Forget rebels in Africa, rouge Pirates, cease-fire or no cease-fire in Gaza, corupt governments, obesity and Britney Spears. We have a new issue facing the world...
Tweens who think they're bigger than they are.OMG! It's an outrage! How have we as a society let it get this far!?
Now, I sense that some of you are a little confused. I mean, what exactly is a "tween"? Please forgive me, but I am about to attempt what every WADL (Western Australian Debating League) Adjudicator fears most... I'm going to quote the dictionary... *clears voice* According to www.dictionary.com , a Tween (see also Tweenager) is a pre-teenager, generally aged 10 - 12; also youth aged 10 - 14.
So now you get what they are, so next time you see one, you'll be able to pick them out of a crowd. But WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL!? What makes them the single biggest threat to society? Well, back to the moment I was faced with such a threat...
I was on the bus on my way back from Morley after a day of shopping with my dearest brother. So to analyse the situation better, you must understand that neither Morley nor my final destination (home) are exactly the richest suburbs in Perth.... this will be an important point later. And there I was, sitting on the bus, and I realise that in front of me there are 2 tweens, at best guess, around twelve years of age, unaccompanied by a parent/guardian on a bus trip for over an hour at least. Then, I see them examining what they had purchased on their shopping trip. Mascara and lipstick. Ok, so what's the issue? Aren't our youth allowed to buy what they want these days? Well, this was no cheap makeup that you would expect a child to buy, no, we were looking at expensive, designer makeup, that not even my mother would wear. Now, this was beginning to capture my attention. Upon further examination, I found that this odd purchase was not a whim for these children, they already fully knew how to wear makeup, and how did I know? Well their faces were caked with makeup. More than someone my age would wear. And what made the whole situation worse? One of the girls had a Guess handbag. Whether it was fake or not, I could not tell.
Now you really are scratching your heads and asking "SO!?!? What's you're point!?!?". The point is, these Tweens, wait no, let's call them children, so these children are dressing up, wearing makeup, catching buses with a Guess bag in tote. So long ago are the days where our children used to dress up in their mothers' dresses and high heel. And so long ago are the days were our children were innocent, and hadn't been corrupted by corporate inspired materialism.
We now enter an age were our youth no longer are as innocent as they once were. Consider yourselves warned of the impending threat of Tweens.
8:12 pm
