The missing illness
Wednesday, 16 May 2007
Withdraw symptoms include:
- Lonelyness
- Depression
- Chocolate Cravings
- High Expectations
- Feelings of excludedness
- Craving of the problem
The illness? Friends. But not just any friends, my Prendiville pals. Those kinda hearted guys who I had become best friends with over the 4 weeks I was in Italy. Oh I miss then dearly. All of them. It's horrible. And my friends who I've know for at most 3 years dont understand. And although they might say that "well Bec doesn't so why do you?" or at least think it- its because Bec WANTS to distance herself. She doesn't want to become too attatched. I have become closer to a group of people who I've know for the 4 weeks of the tour more than I know some of my friends who I've know for a year. I'm closer to some of my Prendiville friends than I am to my friends at school. And they just dont understand that. I find my self feeling very alone now. I'm distancing myself from my friends just because they dont understand this. I'm getting sad because I miss them SO much. I'm eating chocolate too... OH wait! thats normal. Well high expectations are a major issue. Maybe my friends aren't being as kind to me as I had expected? I mean JESS for crying-out-loud told me to stop going on about them! Excludedness is from the fact that I dont feel as if I fit in with them anymore. But I dont fit in with anyone else either- except those friends from Prendiville. Craving the problem- easy. I miss them all so much. I've changed so much since before we left for Italy. I'm, as you would say- more like Lizzie. I care less about deadlines, times and puncuality and I used to so much! I'm more free and relaxed now. I'm more hypo now. And I don't think my friends can handle the new me.
Oh well. There is really nothing I can do.
5:18 pm
